Fatherhood Is Pretty Good

There’s a saying out there in the world that goes something like: “women become mothers when they find out they’re pregnant, while men become fathers when they meet their first child.” To which I reply, fie on your gender essentialist …

Sleep Deprivation

When I am hungry, I get cranky. When I’m tired, I get cranky. But when I’m exhausted? Like, well and truly beat? I get fucked up. Before I had a baby, the most tired I had ever been was after …

Permission Slips

Having a baby in the house means that every day, you are faced with literally thousands of options and decisions. Some of them will require zero reflection, while others may cause you angst. To save you some sturm und drang, …

Motherhood as Art Form

Just as it’s important to cultivate mom friends—comrades in the poop-, tear-, and milk-filled trenches —I believe it’s important to find parents out there in the world who can act as role models. Mom friends are intimate and pretty much …

Grief and Joy: Birth Stories

Before I gave birth, I had a vision for what it might look like. I read Ina May Gaskin. I talked to my mom. I practiced breathing. I wrote out birth mantras on index cards. By the time he actually …

Dream Houses for Grownups

When I was a kid, I used to love drawing pictures of dream houses: here’s where the library is, here’s the secret passageway that connects the snack room to the movie theatre, and here’s the hot tub, naturally situated in …

How to be Friends With a Baby

Someone’s always gotta go first: first to the edge of the pool, first to the altar, first to sign the deed on the house, first to get knocked up. And if you’re part of a tight-knit group of friends, people’s …

Push Back (and Back and Back)

As a brand-spanking new parent, Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting was designed to speak my language. I went through my pregnancy under the care of a midwife, and many of my friends follow at least some …